I want to especially write this one for all the people who think we should have our life together in our 20’s and don’t, and for those who tell us if we don’t we are wrong when we are not.
There is no right or wrong, or law that states by age whatever, this or that needs to be done. All it is is society’s perspective on how and in what order things should be done and quite frankly, nothing rarely ever goes as planned no matter how much you try because that’s life, shit happens. But that’s ok!
I’m 25 and guess what? My life is not the perfect fairy tale that I hoped it to be by this age. I see many people around me who are my age who have graduated college, have wonderful careers, have settled down gotten married and have kids living on their own in beautiful homes, driving fancy cars and life just seems perfect for them. I’m a college grad without a career, not married, don’t have kids, don’t own a home, don’t drive the fanciest car, life isn’t perfect but I have everything I need.
Sometimes I will look at my life and ask what did I do wrong, or what did I not do, for my life to not be in place like it is for everybody else? And that’s when you have to stop yourself, snap back to reality and realize that life is not a damn competition. Everybody is going about life at their own pace, some faster than others, some with more help than others, whatever it may be. But it’s not a competition and sadly, we make it one.
As humans, we see the outside picture not knowing what is truly going on behind it. Opportunities may become available for some people at a certain point in life when it’s convenient for them, but for some it happens when it’s not convenient. Everything happens for a reason, and God has a plan for me. But even then I still ask myself if I didn’t do enough since I’m not where I want to be at the age of 25 while the person I know from high school has their entire life planned for them already and are more successful at the same age than I am.
It’s only normal that as a human with emotions and feelings we question our judgements and actions all because society says that by certain ages we should have accomplished this many things and if we haven’t we are unsuccessful.
As a person who graduated college at the age of 25 I get ridiculed by so many people because of how late I finished undergrad. I struggled during my years of college because I did not know what I wanted to do with my life. My college journey is a whole other story that I will go into more detail about in another post. I switched my major a few times but I eventually found one that I thought was best suited for me. I now have my bachelors degree in public health, and while I still need a masters to go further in my career path, I still get hounded by individuals who tell me “well when do you plan on going to grad school when do you plan on finishing school for good? Well if you would ever finish school maybe you could settle down in life.”
As much as those statements hurt, they are not the ones doing my school work, or attending class, staying up late finishing papers. I worked hard to get my degree. I waited so long for that moment to be able to walk across the stage that nobody should be able to take that happiness away from me. Or you!
But not finishing school in a “timely manner” was the least of my worries. I graduated college and moved back home and started looking for a job and I could not find one. Eventually I was offered a paid internship which I thought at this point is better than nothing and that’s my new position that I will be starting in a couple weeks. I hear of many people who graduate college and with only bachelors are able to find these great high paying jobs but it didn’t work out that way for me.
I’m hoping to apply to grad school within the next year and finish school but at this point my life is not a perfect little box wrapped in a bow. But that’s ok! And you know why it’s ok? Because I’m still trying to be somebody. My steps may not be as big as somebody else’s but I’m still taking steps in the right direction! So please don’t let anybody tell you that you are moving too slow or too fast in life for that matter. Your life should be gone about at the pace you feel comfortable with because after all, it is your life!
I’m 25 and my life is not what society thinks it should be, and that’s ok. Because society does not define who I am, I define who I am, society interprets it how they want. But I’m 25 and taking steps in the right direction. Life is not a competition, it’s a journey. Enjoy it without society telling you how to live it.
– sofia 💜